See … I Told You They Suck(ed)

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger 4 Comments »

As many of you are aware, I have been complaining about the skill level of the other programmers that I work with. I present this post as evidence supporting my incessant complaints. My apologies to those of you that find this post mind-numbingly boring but it had to be written.

Still here?

If you are … you are a complete nerd.

I’m just sayin’.

Problem:
Write a method that accepts a Date (d) and a Number (n) as parameters. The method should add n hours to Date d and return a string representation of the resulting date. The method must allow for crossing over into new days, years, leap years, etc. (All the normal date mathematics issues). The method must not alter the input Date object (Assumption: All objects are passed by reference).

My Solution:

public static function dateAddHours(date:Date, hours:Number):String
{
    var d:Date = clone(date);
    d.setHours(d.getHours() + hours);
    return toISO8601(d);
}

Their Solution:

public static function dateAddHours(myDate:Date, myHours:Number):String
{
        var myYear:Number= myDate.getFullYear();
        var myMonth:Number= myDate.getMonth()+1;
        var myDay:Number= myDate.getDate();
        var myHH:Number= myDate.getHours();
        var myMM:Number= myDate.getMinutes();
        myHH= myHH+myHours;
        trace("hour = " + myHH);
            if(myHH==24){
                //turn the clock past 12am
                myHH=0;
                myDay=myDay+1;
                //its now the next day, did we got to a new month????
                if(myMonth==1 || myMonth == 3 || myMonth == 5 ||myMonth == 7 ||
                   myMonth == 9||myMonth == 10|| myMonth==12 ){
                    if (myDay>31){
                        trace("weve got month");
                        myDay=1
                        myMonth=myMonth+1;
                        if (myMonth>12){
                            myMonth=1;
                            //it is now the next year
                            myYear=myYear+1
                        }
                    }
                }else{
                    //CHECK FOR February in A LEAP YEAR
                    if (myMonth=2){
                       if (myYear==2008||myYear==2012||
                           myYear==2016||myYear==2020){
                            if(myDay>29){
                                myDay=1;
                                myMonth=myMonth+1;
                            }
                       }else{
                            if(myDay>28){
                                myDay=1;
                                myMonth=myMonth+1;
                            }
                       }
                    }
                    //then it is just 30 days in the month
                    else{
                        if(myDay>30){
                            myDay=1;
                            myMonth=myMonth+1;
                        }
                    }
                }
            }
        if(myMM>0 &&myMM<30){myMM=0};
        if(myMM>30 &&myMM<60){
            myMM=30;
        }
        var myMonthF = format(String(myMonth));
        var myDayF = format(String(myDay));
        var myHF = format(String(myHH));
        var myMF = format(String(myMM));
        var theDate:String=""+myYear+"-"+myMonthF+"-"+myDayF+" "+myHF+":"+myMF+":00";
        return theDate;
    }

Need I say more?

Reserving Judgment

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger 3 Comments »

My first day at work was kind of slow and a little weird. I mostly milled about smartly waiting for information that was not forthcoming. I obsessed over passing comments people made that I found to be strange or out of place. I even took time to develop a theory that all of my co-workers will soon let me in on the secret that they are all so nice because the company generously converted them into android slaves. For now, I am chalking it all up to First Day Jitters and reserving any judgment until next week. However, I am confident that I can make a well informed judgment call on one thing: Commuting on I-5 for any distance at all sucks copious amounts of ass.

Pierced

Posted by: Fis[her] in fis[her], fishmonger 2 Comments »

I realized it halfway through the interview. Like an epiphany from heaven. Like the voice of God herself whispering into my ear.

“Aubry,” it said, “you forgot to remove your nose ring.”

Dammit!

Internally, I panicked. My mind raced.

“Maybe she hasn’t noticed,” I thought to myself. “Maybe she doesn’t care.”

Externally, I nodded my head and did my best to maintain my cool while simultaneously resisting the urge to compulsively touch my nose. Every time she touched her face… my heart skipped a beat.

“Is she scratching her nose because of me? Is she subconsciously trying to communicate her disapproval? Is she staring?”

I found myself shifting in my chair so that the right side of my face was hidden from her view. Like that was going to fool her.

At one point, she left me alone in her office to go make a copy of my resume. I briefly flirted with the idea of ripping the nose ring out of my nose right there and then. But she left the door open when she exited the office. I did not want potential future co-workers to be catch me digging at my nose. More importantly, I was terrified that she would return before I could pull the whole thing out. Heaven forbid she walk in on me to find me with a nasal screw sticking halfway out of my nostril. And what if I dropped it on the floor of her office? I didn’t want to risk it.

When I got home I ran to the bathroom to stare at my reflection. One brief look confirmed my worse fears.

“Yep,” I said to myself, “She definitely noticed.”

The hippie in me wants to believe that I am better off not working for a company who judges its potential employees based on little, insignificant things such as piercings. The practical professional in me knows better. Even out here in liberal California, I can’t expect that kind of open-mindedness from any corporate entity.

Well, I’ll just have to wait and see what she decides.

First Day Of Work

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger 2 Comments »

As an update, my first day of work has been moved up to today. Our four five six seven month honeymoon has been nice. Very nice. But alas, the burdens of every day life are demanding a revenue stream. Stupid burdens.
I awoke this morning at 6:30 a.m., just like I used to do so many months ago, only to discover that I am still not a huge fan of the alarm clock. Who’d've thought? None the less, I am looking forward to my first day back in the work force. The company I am going to work for is on the bleeding edge of Flash development and my inner nerd is looking forward to new challenges. I will report back later because right now I have to … commute.

Would You Like A Stress Strudel For Dessert?

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger No Comments »

Guess who called me just before C.O.B. today. If you guessed Rep #2, you get a gold star! The conversation went something like this:

“I just got off the phone with Company #2 and I wanted to let you know that really liked you and would really like to bring you onboard.”

“That was nice of them to say and thanks for passing that along.”

“Here’s the thing, they would like to know what you need in order to retract your acceptance of the other offer. I thought I would run that question by you just to see if you would like to pursue it.”

“Really? Well, to be honest, I hadn’t given it much thought because I did not expect to hear from you again today (ever). Let me give it some thought and get back to you in 15 minutes or so.”

At this point I was at a loss for what to do (that’s code for kinda freaked out) so I called Aub’ to get grounded before responding. In short, we discussed how it was a win situation no matter what so I might as well just ask for the moon. And that is what I did.

I called Rep#2 and requested the moon. I also informed him that I needed an answer today and that if I didn’t hear back today I would consider the matter dead and go to work on Monday for Company #1. We hung up and, again, I did not expect to hear back. However, barely five minutes later Rep #2 is calling again.

“Okay, Company #2 agreed to the moon, are you in?”

“Huh … looks like I’m going to work for Company #2.”

I am NOT looking forward to the call I must place to Rep #1 tomorrow morning.

Would You Like More Stress, Sir?

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger No Comments »

The Cast:

  • Company #1 – The company that made me a verbal offer last week via Rep #1
  • Rep #1 – The staffing agency representative for Company #1
  • Company #2 – The other company I interviewed with and thought might make me an offer
  • Rep #2 – The staffing agency representative for Company #2

Just so we are all clear, Not only did I inform Rep #2 of my existing offer days ago, I also informed Company #2 directly of the same fact yesterday and indicated that I needed to provide Company #1 with a response no later than this morning. Yet, I waited and waited and waited for the second offer to come in this morning. I was promised that someone would contact me this morning because I could no longer put off responding to the existing offer. At 11:00 a.m., after avoiding additional calls from Rep #1, I called Rep #2 to tell them that I was in the proverbial eleventh hour and in need of an answer from Company #2 forthwith. 11:45 turned out to be the latest I could put off deciding whether to accept the existing offer. With no word from Company #2, I verbally accepted Company #1’s offer.

I called Rep #2 at 11:55 to inform them that I had accepted the existing offer. Oddly enough, Rep #2 was on the phone with Company #2 finalizing an offer. After placing me on hold for a few moments Rep #2 comes back on the line jubilant that he had an offer for me. An offer substantially less than the existing offer. I balked and explained that I had already made my decision and issued a verbal acceptance to Rep #1 and besides the existing offer was better financially. Rep #2 took issue with this.

Rep #2 and I had a tense, almost heated, debate for several minutes where Rep #2 questioned my motives and pried for information on the competition. I tried to explain that I found both companies interesting and while I liked the position at Company #2 better, I was not inclined to take substantially less money to work there. Rep #2 inquired as to whether or not I would rescind my acceptance if Company #2 could match Company #1’s offer. Again I tried to explain that I had already given my word to Company #1 due to lack of response from Company #2 and I felt it best for all concerned that we simply consider the issue dead and go our separate ways. Rep #2 was not happy with this answer either and we talked in circles again about my motivation to the point that bluntly suggested that we cease rephrasing the same questions and responses.

It was this point that Rep #2 stated, “I just don’t understand what has changed in the last five minutes that you wouldn’t accept a matching offer.”

“The difference is that I have already given my word to Rep #1 that I would move forward with the existing offer and if you want me to go back on that word I will need an offer that is significantly better than the one I have already accepted.” I replied, “And I don’t think that Company #2 is interested in paying the amount required for me to suck up my pride and rescind my acceptance.”

“So there is a financial motivation then?”

“That is sort of irrelevant since I am trying to decline as opposed to negotiating a higher offer.”

After a while Rep #2 finally gave in and we talked of not burning bridges and that sort of thing. All the while, I am thinking that Rep #2 will be placing me on the top of their “You’ll Never Work In This Town Again If We Have Anything To Do With It” list.

So, I meet with Rep #1 tomorrow morning to fill out paperwork and go to work for Company #2 on Monday morning.

May We Offer You A Job … With A Side of Stress?

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger 1 Comment »

As I sit here this morning I am restless (which means I am driving Aubbie a little crazy). I am waiting on an official offer for a position that I like better than the position for which I currently have an offer. Don’t get me wrong, the current offer is acceptable and sounds like it would be fun and interesting … but … The offer I am waiting on this morning is a better long term position. I have already evaded one call this morning from the company that made the existing offer. My delay tactics and my patience are wearing thin. I always thought having multiple job offers would be exciting but, as it turns out, it is somewhat stressful. On the other hand, I suppose one could have worse problems, eh?

My 2 Cents

Posted by: Fis[he]r in fishmonger 2 Comments »

So far my experience with the job search here in San Diego has been mixed. On the one hand, there is plenty of interest in me and my resume. On the other hand, software companies interview the shit out of people here. Every interview I have had out here (two thus far) has been tough. The interviews are long and nerve wracking and invariably include programming examinations. One interviewer even insisted that I draw a cartoon panda on a white board. I was not expecting to be called on my claim to have a creative streak. So, he got a shakily sketched, screaming panda. He almost got a vomiting panda but I decided against that.

I have another interview scheduled this afternoon but I am currently waiting to hear if I have an offer from a company I interviewed with on Wednesday. I like the company I interviewed with and, possibly more importantly, I would like to avoid going through another technical interview out here. Still, there are good reasons to go through with today’s interview regardless of an offer: I would certainly have the upper hand in today’s interview, I could use the existing offer to negotiate if I received a second offer, and it would just be good experience to go through the examination process another time.

Ugh! Why don’t they just call with an offer already so I can weasel out of my interview this afternoon?

In Search

Posted by: Fis[her] in fishmonger No Comments »

I.

Job hunting blows.

There, I said it.

I tried a dozen times or more to describe my feelings more elegantly, but not one example seemed to do the trick. In the end, I pouted, crossed my arms, stomped my foot, and settled for the former: job hunting blows.

There, I said it. 

II.

I was excited. A prospect. And so soon. I had not expected any activity until after the holidays. But there I was… answering my cell phone as it rang off the hook. A small firm. Yes, tell me more. Business transactions, probate, employment law. Yes, tell me more. A decent salary. Yes, sign me up. Tomorrow. After hours. I’ll be there.

III.

I noticed a bounce in my step. A weightlessness that did not exist before. A job. A good job for decent pay. I began to think that there was hope after all. I could crawl from under the thumb of my professional demons, shed my old skin, and resurrect my career. I could rise above that which I sank below. I could move on and lose very little ground in the process. This was it. An opportunity. I could feel it in my bones. 

IV.

I tried to remain non-reactive as the small Asian gentleman across from me described the most sinful of flaws in each of his staff. Soandso, she is an endless talker. Suchandsuch, will yell at you for no reason. Secretary #1 hates Secretary #2. Secretary #2 spends too much time on the Internet. Soandso is not performing to our liking. Suchandsuch, she just sucks. You can’t be like any of them and we will compare you to all of them. Oh, and you can’t make personal calls, blink, pee, sneeze, wheeze, vacation around the holidays, and otherwise step away from your desk. You down with that?

V.

I’ve turned down a second interview. Twice. Tell me again why I should work for a company whose employees spend so much of their energy feuding with each other that its number one priority in a new hire is not her skills and competency but her ability to reason with unjust conflict? Thanks, but no thanks. Call me when the next one comes along. Call me after the disappointment has worn off. Call me when there is an opening in an office. Not a sandbox. 

VI.

Job hunting blows.

There, I said it.